Some of us just easily accept that we are God's child, that He loves us, and that we just have to follow Him...others of us fight much harder through life before these revelations reach our heart. I have 2 sprouts. One wrestles with this. One just believes it.
My wildman sprout is the wrestler. He has been hard on himself since he was learning to crawl upon which God made it super clear to me, "be easy on this guy, he is already too hard on himself." I try. I do. But he is a super sensitive child and lives his emotions OUT LOUD and the loud kiddo gets a lot more negative attention, unfortunately.
These wrestling emotions have erupted this past 2nd grade year as he often said how horrible of a person he was, how he hated himself, and how he wanted to start running and never stop. As mommy, I had to tell myself not to panic but just to calmly listen. So I did all year. But finally in April, I brought my concerns to my Friday morning prayer group at his school and we prayed over his little heart.
That weekend, I shared with him the verses where John asks, "Why do I do the things I don't want to do and I don't do the things I should do? For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing." My wildman was shocked to read his very words, thoughts, and feelings in the WORD and even more shocked that it was a grown man who thought this stuff.
YES little one. We all feel inadequate. 'cause we are!!
While many kids proclaim, "I didn't do it!" or "It's not fair...it's Suzie Que's fault, not mine!" my little guy fully knows he has messed up every time he does. He is and always has been completely aware that he is a sinner. Which sets him up to be so deeply thankful for this next part that I shared with him from that Romans 7 passage - "Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God - through Jesus Christ our Lord!...Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus because through Jesus Christ the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death."
I drew a picture of a boy carrying a large bag over his shoulder, like Santa. This boy in my picture could hardly walk from the heavy bag he lugged - and I shared that that is him - carrying all his sins with him but he didn't need to do that!! That's what freedom is.
It was a long and beautiful conversation. I shared much with him and we read many other passages.
I write about it now because it's been about 4 or 5 months since we talked and I have watched that message from the Bible peculate and simmer in his mind and have been so in awe of the power of the word because my wildman has completely stopped proclaiming how horrible he is, how he wants to disappear, or any of it. He has stopped throwing himself around in his emotional tantrums of frustration at himself.
He has turned into this smiley, helpful, more relaxed, and happy version of himself.
All from reading God's truth.
(and from the power of prayer of a few mom's meeting together to pour prayer over their kids lives together one rainy April morning.)