The tale of 2 pianos

It began with an innocent question to a student in my class about her mom. Her matter-of-fact toned reply caused the meaning of what she was saying to take a few seconds longer then it should have to register. But when it did, my heart broke, and my resolve to get to know her was made.

For Sarah had lost her mom, a year and a half earlier, at the tender age of 10, to pneumonia.

The process of developing trust with students is slow - built over weeks and months through smiles, eye contact, side hugs, and eventually, little conversation morsels. It's not like I can take her out to coffee and sit down for 4 hours and call it good - instead, it's mini-coffee like breaks throughout the year that slowly, someday, lead to a real relationship.

As the school year progressed, I could see that music sparked something within Sarah that could be seen clearly in her twinkling eyes. She worked hard in my group piano class, tryed out and was awarded solo parts in my choir, and took more then one road-trip with her dad to California to go to special acting camps.

So while that story was unfolding all school year, a mom in our same town was continuing to work through the grief of her 15 year old son who died 14 years earlier. Eric loved music and had a special talent for all forms of music, despite his deformed heart and missing lung and sickly life.

For years I have secretly wanted to upgrade my piano. It is the original piano my parents bought for me when I began piano, in a Chicago suburb, at the age of 5. My brother, David Klinkenberg and I have spent hundreds of hours practicing music around this piano. It sits in my studio now, a bit beat up, but still sounds majestic to my ears. God Had whispered to me many times when I thought about purchasing a new piano that He had one for me (and it would even be my favorite brand - Kawai) - but that I just had to wait.

Late last week the phone rang and I met Wanda, a mom who has walked the unthinkable by losing her only child through heart disease. Within 3 minutes, I knew she wanted (or thought she wanted) to give this piano away and that it belonged to her son that had died 14 years earlier. She literally wrestled back and forth with her decision to give it up and decided that it would be best if she just took lessons and used the piano...we kept talking, more her then me, but I quickly moved into counselor role as I grieved with her about her son and encouraged her to take her time in deciding. We hung up.

5 minutes later, the phone rang. It was Wanda with an announcment. She simply said, "I talked to my husband about you and we have decided to give you the piano. You are the one we have been waiting for."

A studio level, amazing quality, nearly $11,500 Kawai - and I am the one she has waited for.

So, who is the one my piano was meant for? I decided to offer it to my 30 students I teach group piano to each week. Their task - write me an essay that convinces me that you are the one who should get my childhood piano. 6 beautiful essays came in of students inspired to keep learning piano after they discovered a deep love for piano and music from taking my class all year.

But the one who stood out the most was from the quiet girl whose eyes twinkled when she talked of being in theater, singing, and music - a young girl who lost her mom way to young.

Sarah.

On Fear

During our honeymoon/backpacking trip the altitude, low blood sugar and having the body altering (NEVER TAKE THIS STUFF!) birth control pill coursing through my veins all triggered an attack of grand mal seizures. In fact, without being life flown out of the wilderness, I most likely would not have lived on to tell the story.

THe details of that story, in itself, are long and show the hand of God as He whispered to us "It's OK - I know the way. You'll be OK! I know the way!"

Here's the deal - that experience left a scar within my heart that had grown into a large ugly wound of fear. I love to be out in the wilderness - or go skiing - or go running on trails - or mountain biking - but for years, the tape playing in my mind was: "Are you nuts? Do you remember what happened in 1996? What are you doing?"

Fast forward to 2009 - Stud Husband and I decided to tackle some high mountain Sierra trails - real altitude, of 12 to 14 thousand feet high mountain lakes and passes. The entire drive down and 1st day of hiking, I was literally short of breath from gripping fear that 1996 could happen again. I have kids now! We are not just a stones throw from a town in these mountains - we are deep in the wilderness. What am I doing?

But I knew, in my deepest knower, that God does not lead us through the maze of life by fear. That instead, we are to travel this life from victory to victory and ultimately, follow peace. Just because I felt fear, gripping fear at that, does not mean I was not to move forward - on the contrary, fear tends to motivate me to face the giant head on and double check that I am holding on to God's hand tightly as I go.

So one step at a time, I climbed that mountain, both literally and metaphorically - I realized that if I didn't face this head on that this fear monster would only get bigger.

:But God, I am scared!!

Child, that's OK. Do it anyway. Do it scared. But do it.

OK.

And the next day when in 1996, the first seizure hit, I was still feeling amazing, athletic, strong. We climbed up to a high mountain lake at nearly 11,000 feet altitude where I realized that this "Monster" lurking and keeping me from the joy of being there had shrunk and was really a mouse sized puny little squeaky voice that had no power over me at all. In fact, when the fullness of knowing that I was higher then I had ever been on a mountain and I was feeling better then ever was fully realized, I knew once and for all , that God had destroyed that Monster.

Check this video out. It beautifully portrays the truth that God knows the way in all of our lives! Fear is not of Him! When we remember that He Has us in the palm of His hand and He is taking us through this life we can watch all the Fear Monsters in our lives shrink down and completely disappear. We walk this life with HIM!!

Our next adventures

In 2 years, for our 15^th wedding anniversary, how about we take the family on a mission trip to serve others in need as a way to celebrate being a family for 15 years...?”

- Cory, August, 2009

Dear Friends and Family,

It's hard to believe that we are on the precipice of celebrating 15 years of marriage, but we are. As a way to commemorate our 15 years together as a family, Cory dreamed, as we hiked in a high-Sierra trail in 2009, that during the summer of our 15^th year together, we'd take our entire family to Nicaragua on a mission trip. The trip is being planned through our church, Redmond Community Church for the Mustard Seed Missions, which was started by our friends Michael and Lisa Perkins over 5 years ago. http://www.themustardseedmission.org/

It is our heart's desire to give our children experiences that will immerse them in what it truly means to give, selflessly, and to recognize the need for Jesus goes beyond our political country boundaries to all people. Nicaragua is one of the poorest countries in Latin America with very little infrastructure or modern conveniences. Families often have little choice but to let their young children scavenge in garbage dumps for food and their daughters to work the streets for money. Unlike in the U.S., there is not a safety net of social services that provides basic needs like food, medical care, and education to people in poverty. By joining efforts with the ongoing ministry that Michael and Lisa have established, we strive to be part of a loving movement that is breaking family cycles and changing legacies. Vocational training for women, feeding and nutritional training programs for the hundreds of people that are living in the Managua city dump, and building projects for homes in major disrepair are just a few of the things we will have the privilege of being part of. Our days there will be jam packed!

The dates of our trip are July 2 – July 10^th, 2011. We are very excited for this amazing opportunity! We hope to bring our own special touch to the team through leading worship as well as Julie's understanding of the Spanish language, that will hopefully allow her to connect with the local people at a deeper level. Our children are natural ice breakers as they easily make friends and will be a vital part of the team as they reach out and connect with Nicaraguan children in a way that only other children can do. And finally, Cory, being the talented work horse that he is, plans to put in long hours, building and repairing infrastructure.

We are humbly writing to you to ask you, first and foremost, to please keep us in your prayers over the next months and during the time we are in the country. Specific prayer requests are:

• Health and safety while in Nicaragua (no malaria or dengue fever please!)

• That this time of ministry would draw our family closer together and closer to God

• That our time in Nicaragua would allow us rich connections with the people in Nicaragua

• That God would open or close doors as He leads to pave the way for us to bring high school students and our family back to Nicaragua in future summers

• That funds for the trip would be provided for

We are also writing to you to ask you to consider partnering with us financially to make this trip possible. The total cost for the trip is $5000. As I type that number, I truly feel all at once overwhelmed by it and confident that since God Has prompted our hearts to want to go that He will clear all obstacles to making that happen. To help keep track of your support, we are asking that you send any donation through our church. Address the checks to RCC and note “O'Neill Nic trip” in the memo line. Your entire donation will be tax deductible. We will send you a tax statement (and a big smiley thank you note/letter of what we did on the trip ) in time for your April 2012 taxes!

Leave a comment with your email address so I can send you a support letter and address of where to send your donations to. Thank you so much for considering joining us in this new adventure into God's Great Plan!

Santa is still coming to our house

Over this issue of Santa Claus I can sense that I might be in the minority in our Christian school but our family has had fun with the idea for years. Bekah still enjoys the giggling fun of Santa. My own pastor dresses up as Santa for his kids (when they were younger anyway!). It's just fun. And fun is good! :)

We also celebrate Advent all month as well as St Nick's day where we learn about St Nick - but on Christmas morning, Santa Claus and his reindeer visit our house. I actually kinda believed in this fun little fantasy through 7th/8th grade.

As a mom now, I love that I can give to my children "in secret" as this is a Christ like model of giving that someday, my kids will be able to do for their own children. I now look back on Christmases of my youth and tearfully realize, that my parents were the sacrificial givers of those gifts I knew had to be from Santa because "there was no way they could afford it." That's Christ like love personified.

I whole heartedly agree with James Dobson's perspective on this and thought I'd send it along:



"Can Teaching Your Children about Santa Claus Interfere with Their Spiritual Beliefs Later in Life."

James Dobson: "I don't believe that those early, early fantasies really interfere with later Spiritual beliefs. I haven't seen any evidence of that, either in the life of my kids or in the lives of those I have had anything to do with. To allow a little bit of fantasy in a child's life enriches his intellectual life and I think he needs it. Children thrive on fantasy. It enriches our mental existence. Reality can be a pretty cold and hard place. I think children need the fantasy that Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and other childhood mythical creatures bring.

Dr Bill Maier: Childhood fantasies can be fun and help develop a child's imagination. As long as the fantasies are not unhealthy, there is no need to "correct" your kids any earlier than necessary"

For this same commentary in audio form here is the link:

http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/James_D...?bcd=2007-12-10

Harvest time!

What fun it is to harvest in the fall!! We had a cool summer, so harvest is smaller, but it's filling us up with fresh, organic, delicious, life giving food!


This is just a sampling of today's picks...the tomatoes are coming on too...haven't dug up the beets or potatoes much, but they await our dinner table, sucking up the last of the nutrients.
Collard greens, lettuce, swiss chard, beets...so yummy with garlic and olive oil sauteed up to perfection,
Herbs, glorious herbs!! Basil, surrounded by oregano, thyme, rosemary, parsley, and chives.

It's all good...

Had another epiphany from God today on my run....probably should credit the epiphany to the 2 hour yoga class I did with over 500 "yogis" on the Deschutes River today instead as that's where a lot of these mini thoughts started coagulating in my mind.

God is so clever in the way he gently teaches me. It's always little lessons, spread over months and months, and the final "aha" doesn't come until the exactly perfect time when it all comes flooding through my mind and finally the dots are connected. I always smile up at Heaven at this point, thanking Him for his unending patience.

At the end of last school year I had all but decided that I had given this full time teaching thing a good, honest try, and "thanks, but no thanks", I best be on my way now. However, God divinely whispered to my heart that that might not be the answer and that He'd like me to speak to a couple of fellow teachers. I obeyed, made some phone calls, did some talking and a ton of listening and knew in my heart that I was to return.

So why then, did I spend such a big chunk of the summer dreading this decision? God, where's the Peace that follows after your will? I wrestled with this all summer.

Then God placed another little angel in my life in the form of a stranger on a bus. We had just finished another major backpacking trip - one in which we needed to take a bus to the trailhead - and were on the return trip back to our vehicle - when I just shared openly with the lady next to me about my internal struggles with taking on full time teaching again. She listened attentively and then turned to me and said, "YOu are going to have the best year of your life."

Woah!! That settled hard and fast in my mind and as I pondered her spoken blessing over my life for a few days, I knew it, FINALLY, in my heart! It's a choice! It always is. God is just waiting to hand us His blessings, but we need to choose to receive them as grumbly, hard little hearts aren't capable of it. I will choose to wake up each day and grab God's hand and say, "with you God, I choose Joy.:

The final person in this string of mini lessons (we are up to 3 people already- I am a slow learner), happened today after an invigorating 2 hour yoga class on the Deschutes River, and this time it came from a sweet older man in his 70s, with gray hair, and a thick Spanish accent....and it came in Spanish. We got to chit chatting about the weather and I laughingly admitted that I am a hot weather gal, I love it hot, and am not looking forward to this next winter which is predicted to be a real snowy, cold, and wet one. I said I'd love to live somewhere hot, where coconuts grow on trees and mangos grow in my backyard.

He stopped. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, "You can't leave us. You belong here. You are supposed to be in this community right now, blessing those that you encounter, HERE. Don't push against what happens - like the winter - learn to embrace it, enjoy it. No, you can't leave us. We need you here." (keep in mind, I met this sweet man 5 minutes before he boldly lectured me)

Es la verdad!!

After all of this, I needed a good trail run on the river. I knew God needed to put this all together. And here's what He told me:

We need each other!! Every one of these conversations spoke life into me. And because these people, along the way, spoke life into me, I am now ready to spend a school year, hopefully, speaking life into my students.

As we seek God daily, He fills us up with His life and then we go out into the world and have thousands of little moments, full of hundreds of interactions with other people, and we have the chance to speak life into each of these moments, into the people all around us.

Light up the sky